Bound for Cambridge...

I still can't believe that it is really happening. That I just came back from Japan (for good) and would be going to England instead to further my postgraduate studies. I have been offered a Shell Centenary Chevening Scholarship to do an MPhil in Engineering for Sustainable Development at the University of Cambridge. I have learnt that I was the only Malaysian offered for this year's Shell Centenary Award and to do it in Cambridge. That makes it harder for me to turn it down if I ever thought of doing so.

But the baggage of guilt continues to burden my mind that I have not only sacrificed a darn good scholarship from Japan but also the fact that I have to leave the friends I made in Japan, my host mother, the wonderful and dedicated senseis and the opportunity to learn a new language. The hardest episode was to leave at the time when I was awarded an Achiever's Award at the recent graduation.

I am currently in Kuala Lumpur to finalise my packing for Cambridge, meet up with friends, relatives and to mentally recuperate from the loss of my (excellent) Japanese scholarship, and experiences from the Land of the Rising Sun.

At the same time, I am very much looking forward to the path bound for Cambridge as I believe it would be a lifetime experience, not to mention the chance to study at one of the top universities in the world. I have made friends with most of this year's Chevening scholars via a dedicated scholars' webgroup and am really looking forward to meeting them. The Chevening scholars group was set up really fast and we managed to establish the camaraderie within these few days. This was something that I wished I had when I was with the Monbukagakusho scholarship. Equally exciting is this year's scholars including our Malaysian 3R host Kartini Ariffin who would be doing her Masters in London and she is a very friendly person based on my chats with her earlier. They are all over the UK with the majority of them in England and Scotland. Unfortunately, I have not met anyone else going to Cambridge so I may be this year's sole representative from Malaysia, which I hope not!

Japan is my "first love" but it is impossible to have the best of both worlds without sacrificing another. Sometimes in life, we have to make difficult decisions and for me, this was it. Initially I was quite depressed over the loss of the Japanese scholarship, but I have to see the bigger picture that perhaps, the Japanese experience coupled with a Cambridge degree is a fitting match for what I intend to do next.....